At Your Disposal

It was fall, early morning and the day was ready for the taking. A good friend Mel and her family had come to visit for the weekend and as they left quite early at 6am on that fine Sunday morning, being a morning person myself I remained alert and decided to begin my weekly cleaning process.

Being Type A - which means neat freak in easy-to-understand lingo, I grabbed all my garbage and put on some pants and began the trek to the big green garbage dumpster outside. I smiled to myself as it was only 645am and no one was about except for my breath and the new fall leaves. I strolled out to the garbage bin, wondering if I should just keep on treking and actually go for a walk, taking a deep breath of the fresh air and peacefullness. As I stood outside the bin, I did a quick check to keep from bashing a bum that hid in there occassionally and seeing the coast clear I heaved tossing my 5 bags in. Strange when I heard a clink sound at the end and looking carefully in my right hand I was appalled to realize that my keys were no longer there but the five dirty bags still remained!!

And it began. I rolled up my sleeves, looked around the parking lot to make sure no one was there and opened the lid of the dumpster, very carefully of course as not to dirty myself. I looked in horror as I realized the extent of what I was about to overcome. The dumpster was 3/4's full and not smelling like roses! My keys were no where in sight! I hauled my left leg over the edge, plugged my nose and brought the right one over slowly. Where exactly is a good place to step and where is a good place to start?? There's just no manual when it came to garbage dumpster digging last time I checked!

Just as I placed one foot down on what looked secure (my own garbage) it caved. My arms came up, my body went down and luckily I caught myself on the edge of the dumpster by one arm, keeping me from sitting on anything. As my body jammed into the side of the bin, it knocked the bin lids down and I was soon shut inside! I don't know if I screamed first or bolted up first, it all happened so quickly but I had the lid back up in a jiffy before too much of my claustrophobia could settle in. That's when I decided to speed up my process and just before the tears began I spotted my ill-fated keys in the far back corner I grabbed the keys and jumped out in no time flat. I fell to the ground and ran the short distance to my apartment, jolted in to the shower and laughed for about 20 minutes straight. What else could I do? Besides my laundry when I got out!

I don't suppose my neighbors minded, I imagine I put on quite a show. I can tell you this though, it has never happened again and I can promise you it never will....I learn quickly no matter what the lesson was here!