A little while back I took a giant leap and accepted a new job position to escape a previously rough work environment. The clincher was - along with that leap I also accepted an incredibly large pay cut to work at the new job. It made me incredibly nervous to leave my old job for that very reason but my health made me even more nervous to stay.
On this particular morning I was due for my first 3 month probation review. I was extremely nervous hoping he could ignore my shaking limbs as I went in at the interview hour. (I think he missed the puddle on the floor too which is always good, peeing in front of your boss can't possibly bring the ratings up!)
My new boss began by stating that not only do I work hard but I "far exceeded" everything he was hoping for. No, really, he actually said that! He then proceeded to go on about how even if I didn't stay at this location, wherever I go, I will always excel in anything I do because of my postive nature and smile! He then advised me of the raise amount I would receive, with a large smile and I beamed right back, an extra $1000 a month! I agreed telling him that I thought it was just perfect and walked out quickly with the paperwork for it in hand in case he changed his mind.
In my excitement of this amazing news, I made a trip to go tanning and get my nails done. I deserved it after all! It wasn't until after I spent the extra cash did I look over my exciting new salary increasing documents to find that I had greatly misunderstood my new bosses genorousity. Sadly, it was not $1000 extra per MONTH, it was an extra $1000 per YEAR! Whoops. Not only would that not pay for my new sparkely nails but that would hardly pay for an extra loaf of bread.
I was so depressed in my oversight that while dropping off a rented movie I had rented over the weekend, I forgot to put my car in park while I jumped out to place it in the drop shoot box and nailed myself in the chest with my car door as the car began driving backwards out of the parking lot and almost overtop of me. Before I got run over but not in time for the store shoppers and pedestrians not to notice along the busy 137th Avenue...I ran after the car, jumped in while it was still going and lunged for the E-Brake! It was just like the movies. Gapping mouths all around, while I made an executive decision to return the movie later when it got dark, very, very dark. I slinked out of the full parking lot to the safety of my apartment.
It's a common occurence for me to miss the bigger picture in my life and looking back on this day is no exception. Not much to do but shake the head, park before leaving the car and breathe deeply. Tomorrow is another day.
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Problems For Sale...O.B.O
Not too long ago I was feeling a little under the weather so after a long day at work I headed home to find that some inconsiderate idiot was parked in MY apartment parking stall! How incredibly rude! I immediately ran up my ghetto steps and called the Apartment Manager to complain. The Manager suggested that since it was my stall number #309 and my apartment number is the same that I call the local Towing Company since it was more a personal problem and have them deal with it. So I did, a little too happily, might I add.
Oddly enough, as the tow truck's time grew closer I had a bad feeling in my gut and decided not to pull in to my stall afterwards, as who knows what would happen to my baby if Mr. Silver Grand AM got a hold of it. There was no way I wanted this bozo to know I had anything to do with it!
I waved and smiled as the tow truck drove away and went back up to my apartment to get some most needed rest. Towing cars is exhausting work.
As my night turned to morning I woke up with a bad cold and "under the weather" turned to "life sucks", really quickly. Late as usual, and in a hurry, I passed my supposed to be empty stall to find that the car was back like a bad dream and I stood there staring at it, shaking my head in astonishment. Once at work I quickly called my Apartment Building Manager again only to find out that I was the one parking in the wrong stall, that there were EIGHT 309 parking spots in my building vicinity and I had parked in the one right across from it!! So not only was I parking illegaly for the last few months but I had the rightful owner towed out of his very own stall!! Nothing makes your morning Cheerios come a little closer to the top then that one!
As this sad day progressed I realized very quickly that my bed was the only fabulous place to be and waking up as someone else was an even better thought. I managed to delete an extremely important folder on my computer that backlogged my work before 10am, I had a killer toothache by 11am and by 1pm my boss agreed that work was not where either of us wanted me to be so at 3pm I headed out the door with no guilt what so ever.
I drove straight to the dentist just to have him insist that he could find nothing wrong. I did find that odd, since my dentists have always found something to charge me with. His rude demeanor and ignorant behavior made me question if everything was okay and he proceeded to tell me that his plan had been to bill my Blue Cross this month from what I had done with him last year, unknown to me whatsoever. The problem was that I had changed work places just in time for it to bounce. When I asked him innocently what my mystery bill was he now informed me that my bill was $1229.21! Whatttttttt!!!!!!! @$#@@@%! AND that he figured I should think about how to pay up! I am uncertain how this came to be since all you can bill Blue Cross per year for dental work is a total of $750.00! When was he planning on billing me for the rest?! Why didn't he advise me of this before I took my pay cut to go to this job??!! As a very depressed and sick Jocelyn left the office, he managed to mumble on the way out that he just might need to redo the root canal on the one side and that is why I am having trouble with it! GRRRRRRrrrrr.
On the way home I decided that nothing else would do but my flannel pajamas, my Pillsbury Cookie Dough and Dr. Phil. I did just that and called my girlfriend, Sharon, to discuss the end of my world as we knew it, and just as my sorrows poured forth and the cookie dough poured in, I bit down on the chocolate chunk that they are known for and viola....I lost my tooth on my right side and swallowed it whole in the blink of an eye! Great. A quick calculation and realization came to mind as it became all too clear, at this rate I would have no teeth in 3 and a half years. I sobbed for what felt like hours to both Sharon and I and then I wiped my tears and ran back onto the couch from my puddle on the bathroom floor.
What a horrible weekend. Lessons learnt this time around? Don't leave your house, everyone is out to get you! Seriously though, no matter how tired you are, you can still go through Second Cup drive thru and Cherrios can be eaten for all 3 meals in a day. The words of wisdom I passed on to my own mother this weekend by yours truly? Stop praying for me! Especially for patience, I don't want to work on any of that stuff. Sometimes I do wish that I could wake up as someone else... anyone out there wanna trade?
Oddly enough, as the tow truck's time grew closer I had a bad feeling in my gut and decided not to pull in to my stall afterwards, as who knows what would happen to my baby if Mr. Silver Grand AM got a hold of it. There was no way I wanted this bozo to know I had anything to do with it!
I waved and smiled as the tow truck drove away and went back up to my apartment to get some most needed rest. Towing cars is exhausting work.
As my night turned to morning I woke up with a bad cold and "under the weather" turned to "life sucks", really quickly. Late as usual, and in a hurry, I passed my supposed to be empty stall to find that the car was back like a bad dream and I stood there staring at it, shaking my head in astonishment. Once at work I quickly called my Apartment Building Manager again only to find out that I was the one parking in the wrong stall, that there were EIGHT 309 parking spots in my building vicinity and I had parked in the one right across from it!! So not only was I parking illegaly for the last few months but I had the rightful owner towed out of his very own stall!! Nothing makes your morning Cheerios come a little closer to the top then that one!
As this sad day progressed I realized very quickly that my bed was the only fabulous place to be and waking up as someone else was an even better thought. I managed to delete an extremely important folder on my computer that backlogged my work before 10am, I had a killer toothache by 11am and by 1pm my boss agreed that work was not where either of us wanted me to be so at 3pm I headed out the door with no guilt what so ever.
I drove straight to the dentist just to have him insist that he could find nothing wrong. I did find that odd, since my dentists have always found something to charge me with. His rude demeanor and ignorant behavior made me question if everything was okay and he proceeded to tell me that his plan had been to bill my Blue Cross this month from what I had done with him last year, unknown to me whatsoever. The problem was that I had changed work places just in time for it to bounce. When I asked him innocently what my mystery bill was he now informed me that my bill was $1229.21! Whatttttttt!!!!!!! @$#@@@%! AND that he figured I should think about how to pay up! I am uncertain how this came to be since all you can bill Blue Cross per year for dental work is a total of $750.00! When was he planning on billing me for the rest?! Why didn't he advise me of this before I took my pay cut to go to this job??!! As a very depressed and sick Jocelyn left the office, he managed to mumble on the way out that he just might need to redo the root canal on the one side and that is why I am having trouble with it! GRRRRRRrrrrr.
On the way home I decided that nothing else would do but my flannel pajamas, my Pillsbury Cookie Dough and Dr. Phil. I did just that and called my girlfriend, Sharon, to discuss the end of my world as we knew it, and just as my sorrows poured forth and the cookie dough poured in, I bit down on the chocolate chunk that they are known for and viola....I lost my tooth on my right side and swallowed it whole in the blink of an eye! Great. A quick calculation and realization came to mind as it became all too clear, at this rate I would have no teeth in 3 and a half years. I sobbed for what felt like hours to both Sharon and I and then I wiped my tears and ran back onto the couch from my puddle on the bathroom floor.
What a horrible weekend. Lessons learnt this time around? Don't leave your house, everyone is out to get you! Seriously though, no matter how tired you are, you can still go through Second Cup drive thru and Cherrios can be eaten for all 3 meals in a day. The words of wisdom I passed on to my own mother this weekend by yours truly? Stop praying for me! Especially for patience, I don't want to work on any of that stuff. Sometimes I do wish that I could wake up as someone else... anyone out there wanna trade?
Spa Day
I admit it, I did it and I'm proud of it! Yesterday I took the plunge and entered a whole new world I'd never known existed....THE SPA. I'd been once before but never on this level. THIS time, they knew my name. This time, they took my coat and this time they assumed I knew where I was going and what I was doing.....I joined the endless women out there in desperate need of pampering during the cold snap and trekked out to Perugia Salon and Spa for the evening. Okay so maybe it was just for a hair cut but I was insistent that this was going to be far more. For Pete's sake, if they're going to charge me an arm and a leg to wash my hair (and I feel that's a privilege!) and take the ends off then I was going to pump it for all it's worth.
The super amazing staff at this particular location had brilliant smiles on their faces with a tad wrinkle of question when i showed up for my appointment an hour and a half early! HA, I tricked them! They told me I could use their services for free while I waited, which included in small print I noted, the Steam Room, Shower, Bath Robe, Bathroom, Coffee, Tea, and millions of lotions and hair things I have no use for! Brilliant, I thought, as I smirked, grabbed the robe and nearly ran to the change room before they changed their minds. My plan was working, I would relax some way, some how and they couldn't stop me! They even knew me by name, like I came on a regular basis. Sure, the 13 year old behind the counter had a computer that may have possibly, perhaps popped up my delicate features but I was going to suck in the star treatment for all it was worth.
I entered the Spa Change Room cautiously, on a mission. I grabbed a locker close to the door and promptly started placing my personals inside. Spotting the Steam Room on the other end of the Change Room I wriggled free of my work clothes and slid into the slip of a robe with glee. Racing to my luxury Stage 1 of my spa experience I stepped into the small rock steamy room and closed the glass door behind me. Sitting down on the damp rock I leaned back and tried to relax. I sat back up shortly when I heard my cell phone ring, shoot, I had forgotten to switch it off! I glanced over to my locker from where I was seated and contemplated the attempt to head back and switch it off. On a more closer glance I spotted something blue, something old and definitely not new - it was my old, worn out, granny underwear staring me plain in the face in the middle of the spa room floor! Darn it! In my rush to get in the Steam room I must have dropped it! Looking down I realized that my slip of a robe was a tad see-through when wet but noting that I was in a woman's change room and it's empty status I could take the chance and run back to pick up my embarrassing realization up off the floor, add it to my locker and return to continue my depleting minutes of my Steam unbeknown to anyone but myself.
I pushed the steamed glass door open and bolted to the center of the room, grabbed my underwear and started towards my locker. The start was minimal as the now wet floor from my steaminess combined with the rock tile beneath my feet and I was down in seconds. Arms went up, feet went out and I went very down. I clung tightly to my old undies and forgot my robe completely. "I'm okay!", I whispered to myself more for the assurance then anything. That's when I heard it, "good". I looked in the direction of the voice and there in the corner behind my steam room door was a comfy, cushy arm chair and a petite, beautiful woman curled up inside reading a magazine. I half smiled, half cried, closed my now open robe, not so graciously stood to my feet and walked backwards towards my locker. Sigh, I was caught, not only with my embarrassing underwear, not only with my award winning performance but with my see-through robe smack open!
I finished closing up the locker, careful not to reveal anything else that would be my demise and walked much slower back to my steam room. It was harder to settle my nerves on the second go of it but after sitting in the room for many minutes I got out and decided a shower was in order. The woman was gone and it appeared I could now venture out alone but still shaking my head. I returned wrinkled but clean, redressed and ready for my new and Spa hair cut. I sat reading my book in solitude in the next waiting room, reminding myself that I was now added to the list of one of those fancy women that do this every day. I insisted I would come back monthly although I may need a second job unless I could convince them that I had an appointment and just use their facilities on the side at no cost! I heard my name to come on down to get started on my hair and looked up.....there she was - my hairdresser, a way-too-familiar beautiful woman with a bit of a smirk as the look of recognition crossed her face and she said, "watch your step"!
Anyone out there have a Spa they can recommend?
The super amazing staff at this particular location had brilliant smiles on their faces with a tad wrinkle of question when i showed up for my appointment an hour and a half early! HA, I tricked them! They told me I could use their services for free while I waited, which included in small print I noted, the Steam Room, Shower, Bath Robe, Bathroom, Coffee, Tea, and millions of lotions and hair things I have no use for! Brilliant, I thought, as I smirked, grabbed the robe and nearly ran to the change room before they changed their minds. My plan was working, I would relax some way, some how and they couldn't stop me! They even knew me by name, like I came on a regular basis. Sure, the 13 year old behind the counter had a computer that may have possibly, perhaps popped up my delicate features but I was going to suck in the star treatment for all it was worth.
I entered the Spa Change Room cautiously, on a mission. I grabbed a locker close to the door and promptly started placing my personals inside. Spotting the Steam Room on the other end of the Change Room I wriggled free of my work clothes and slid into the slip of a robe with glee. Racing to my luxury Stage 1 of my spa experience I stepped into the small rock steamy room and closed the glass door behind me. Sitting down on the damp rock I leaned back and tried to relax. I sat back up shortly when I heard my cell phone ring, shoot, I had forgotten to switch it off! I glanced over to my locker from where I was seated and contemplated the attempt to head back and switch it off. On a more closer glance I spotted something blue, something old and definitely not new - it was my old, worn out, granny underwear staring me plain in the face in the middle of the spa room floor! Darn it! In my rush to get in the Steam room I must have dropped it! Looking down I realized that my slip of a robe was a tad see-through when wet but noting that I was in a woman's change room and it's empty status I could take the chance and run back to pick up my embarrassing realization up off the floor, add it to my locker and return to continue my depleting minutes of my Steam unbeknown to anyone but myself.
I pushed the steamed glass door open and bolted to the center of the room, grabbed my underwear and started towards my locker. The start was minimal as the now wet floor from my steaminess combined with the rock tile beneath my feet and I was down in seconds. Arms went up, feet went out and I went very down. I clung tightly to my old undies and forgot my robe completely. "I'm okay!", I whispered to myself more for the assurance then anything. That's when I heard it, "good". I looked in the direction of the voice and there in the corner behind my steam room door was a comfy, cushy arm chair and a petite, beautiful woman curled up inside reading a magazine. I half smiled, half cried, closed my now open robe, not so graciously stood to my feet and walked backwards towards my locker. Sigh, I was caught, not only with my embarrassing underwear, not only with my award winning performance but with my see-through robe smack open!
I finished closing up the locker, careful not to reveal anything else that would be my demise and walked much slower back to my steam room. It was harder to settle my nerves on the second go of it but after sitting in the room for many minutes I got out and decided a shower was in order. The woman was gone and it appeared I could now venture out alone but still shaking my head. I returned wrinkled but clean, redressed and ready for my new and Spa hair cut. I sat reading my book in solitude in the next waiting room, reminding myself that I was now added to the list of one of those fancy women that do this every day. I insisted I would come back monthly although I may need a second job unless I could convince them that I had an appointment and just use their facilities on the side at no cost! I heard my name to come on down to get started on my hair and looked up.....there she was - my hairdresser, a way-too-familiar beautiful woman with a bit of a smirk as the look of recognition crossed her face and she said, "watch your step"!
Anyone out there have a Spa they can recommend?
Hygiene 101
I feel very strongly that we take teeth for granted, albeit I am currently missing one, have many cavities throughout, one root canal covered with a fake tooth and two teeth covered with temporary fake teeth but that being said, I still feel the same. How is that someone who flosses regularly and brushes a minimum of twice a day can have that many problems yet my husband missing brushing for days has a clean bill of teeth health??!! I'm bewildered.
I think my teeth are extraordinary. They have personality and feelings! In fact they felt very strongly and protested greatly a few months ago when my previous root canal got infected and I required surgery....that same tooth felt so much that it cried out in pain when half of it fell out while I was driving! They feel attacked each visit to the dentist, I am certain, and they protest with each touch of the drill so I end up requiring 5 to 6 needles to sedate them just to calm them down! Who needs to feel their eyeball for three days anyway!
Although my teeth are one of a kind they are quite moody, they've become people of their own and I'm certain my Second Bicuspid has assisted in voting this last fall!
What's done now is done and I can't help but a small part of me wishes to trade in all my teeth for a newer and better model, just like one would a car or better yet just go without!(don't tell them I said that!)....unfortunately my current Dr. refuses to assist me in this matter and so I plead with the public to sign a petition on my behalf! "What's the Beef! Remove the Teeth!" I always say. My husband is also shocked over my rude little Chiclets and insists that removing them is the best thing to do, he's quite adamant they leave immediately and I wake up often in the middle of the night with pliers beside my pillow and a guilty look on his face! I know deep down, he's just trying to help but it's getting a little creepy!
So, the end of my rant is this....treat your teeth with respect, love them, take them out for dinner, anything to keep them at peace because when war breaks out, only THEY win! Take it from one who's a veteran, Save The World, One Tooth At A Time...before it's too late.
Here I am....waving my little white flag of surrender...the teeth have won this battle....sigh, this time!
I think my teeth are extraordinary. They have personality and feelings! In fact they felt very strongly and protested greatly a few months ago when my previous root canal got infected and I required surgery....that same tooth felt so much that it cried out in pain when half of it fell out while I was driving! They feel attacked each visit to the dentist, I am certain, and they protest with each touch of the drill so I end up requiring 5 to 6 needles to sedate them just to calm them down! Who needs to feel their eyeball for three days anyway!
Although my teeth are one of a kind they are quite moody, they've become people of their own and I'm certain my Second Bicuspid has assisted in voting this last fall!
What's done now is done and I can't help but a small part of me wishes to trade in all my teeth for a newer and better model, just like one would a car or better yet just go without!(don't tell them I said that!)....unfortunately my current Dr. refuses to assist me in this matter and so I plead with the public to sign a petition on my behalf! "What's the Beef! Remove the Teeth!" I always say. My husband is also shocked over my rude little Chiclets and insists that removing them is the best thing to do, he's quite adamant they leave immediately and I wake up often in the middle of the night with pliers beside my pillow and a guilty look on his face! I know deep down, he's just trying to help but it's getting a little creepy!
So, the end of my rant is this....treat your teeth with respect, love them, take them out for dinner, anything to keep them at peace because when war breaks out, only THEY win! Take it from one who's a veteran, Save The World, One Tooth At A Time...before it's too late.
Here I am....waving my little white flag of surrender...the teeth have won this battle....sigh, this time!
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