Not too long ago I was feeling a little under the weather so after a long day at work I headed home to find that some inconsiderate idiot was parked in MY apartment parking stall! How incredibly rude! I immediately ran up my ghetto steps and called the Apartment Manager to complain. The Manager suggested that since it was my stall number #309 and my apartment number is the same that I call the local Towing Company since it was more a personal problem and have them deal with it. So I did, a little too happily, might I add.
Oddly enough, as the tow truck's time grew closer I had a bad feeling in my gut and decided not to pull in to my stall afterwards, as who knows what would happen to my baby if Mr. Silver Grand AM got a hold of it. There was no way I wanted this bozo to know I had anything to do with it!
I waved and smiled as the tow truck drove away and went back up to my apartment to get some most needed rest. Towing cars is exhausting work.
As my night turned to morning I woke up with a bad cold and "under the weather" turned to "life sucks", really quickly. Late as usual, and in a hurry, I passed my supposed to be empty stall to find that the car was back like a bad dream and I stood there staring at it, shaking my head in astonishment. Once at work I quickly called my Apartment Building Manager again only to find out that I was the one parking in the wrong stall, that there were EIGHT 309 parking spots in my building vicinity and I had parked in the one right across from it!! So not only was I parking illegaly for the last few months but I had the rightful owner towed out of his very own stall!! Nothing makes your morning Cheerios come a little closer to the top then that one!
As this sad day progressed I realized very quickly that my bed was the only fabulous place to be and waking up as someone else was an even better thought. I managed to delete an extremely important folder on my computer that backlogged my work before 10am, I had a killer toothache by 11am and by 1pm my boss agreed that work was not where either of us wanted me to be so at 3pm I headed out the door with no guilt what so ever.
I drove straight to the dentist just to have him insist that he could find nothing wrong. I did find that odd, since my dentists have always found something to charge me with. His rude demeanor and ignorant behavior made me question if everything was okay and he proceeded to tell me that his plan had been to bill my Blue Cross this month from what I had done with him last year, unknown to me whatsoever. The problem was that I had changed work places just in time for it to bounce. When I asked him innocently what my mystery bill was he now informed me that my bill was $1229.21! Whatttttttt!!!!!!! @$#@@@%! AND that he figured I should think about how to pay up! I am uncertain how this came to be since all you can bill Blue Cross per year for dental work is a total of $750.00! When was he planning on billing me for the rest?! Why didn't he advise me of this before I took my pay cut to go to this job??!! As a very depressed and sick Jocelyn left the office, he managed to mumble on the way out that he just might need to redo the root canal on the one side and that is why I am having trouble with it! GRRRRRRrrrrr.
On the way home I decided that nothing else would do but my flannel pajamas, my Pillsbury Cookie Dough and Dr. Phil. I did just that and called my girlfriend, Sharon, to discuss the end of my world as we knew it, and just as my sorrows poured forth and the cookie dough poured in, I bit down on the chocolate chunk that they are known for and viola....I lost my tooth on my right side and swallowed it whole in the blink of an eye! Great. A quick calculation and realization came to mind as it became all too clear, at this rate I would have no teeth in 3 and a half years. I sobbed for what felt like hours to both Sharon and I and then I wiped my tears and ran back onto the couch from my puddle on the bathroom floor.
What a horrible weekend. Lessons learnt this time around? Don't leave your house, everyone is out to get you! Seriously though, no matter how tired you are, you can still go through Second Cup drive thru and Cherrios can be eaten for all 3 meals in a day. The words of wisdom I passed on to my own mother this weekend by yours truly? Stop praying for me! Especially for patience, I don't want to work on any of that stuff. Sometimes I do wish that I could wake up as someone else... anyone out there wanna trade?
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